Terms of Servitude

By reading any part of this document, you have already agreed to the following:

• You understand that the author is infallible, and that any perceived errors should be interpreted as a lack of enlightenment and/or literacy on your part.
• You understand that any similarities to persons living or dead or to actual events is purely intentional and not intended as satire.
• You understand that the views described herein speak authoritatively for all past, present, and future affiliated entities (including people, corporations, and nation-states).
• As fair compensation for services rendered, the author reserves the right to claim one of the following: your firstborn child, 100% of royalties on all derivative works, or half your kingdom (interpreted at author’s discretion).
• Trillions of sentient beings were slaughtered mercilessly in the making of this sentence, and you were complicit.